Waiting, again.

by Deborah Lee Luskin | Feb 7, 2012 | Living in Place | 24 comments

Writers write.

Then we submit and wait – and worry.

We wonder what’s wrong that editors take so long to decide our fate.

This waiting reminds me of when I was single, living in New York City, wondering how I was ever going to marry if I couldn’t even get a date. Why wouldn’t anybody choose me? Wasn’t I good enough?

So I foreswore marriage. After all, I had a pretty good life as a single woman and I wasn’t going to change it unless someone really wonderful swept me off my feet. The following week, Mr. Wonderful showed up. That was almost thirty years ago. But it seems like I’m right back there again.

My agent has sent out my novel to several houses. One passed right away, like the boys sent up by my anxious aunts, boys who were expecting someone taller and blonder, perhaps. The editor wrote a really complimentary letter, called me “a fine writer” and said she wouldn’t be making an offer. I know: I’m too challenging; she’s going to make an offer to some writer whose book is easy to get along with, someone who’s written a happier book – someone else.

The letter this editor sent to my agent was actually quite flattering, and for almost a week, I was flying. She’d clearly read the book all the way to the end and been bothered by it, which means I got to her. I did my job. It felt like one of those dates the aunts set up, where we eligible singles would meet for a drink, have a pretty good time, and part by mutual agreement.

Now I’m waiting to hear from a half dozen other editors who have the book, and not hearing anything is driving me wild. These editors are like the guys who’d ask for my number with such sincerity I expected them to call the next day, or the next, or the next. Now, when the phone rings at the end of the day, I hesitate before answering, to compose myself, in case it’s my agent with good news. But the only calls I get at the end of the day are solicitations from do-good organizations I’ve donated to in the past, proving that no good deed goes unpunished.

I remind myself that when it came to marriage, I didn’t meet a suitable mate until I put marriage out of my mind. Instead, I focused on the novel I was writing at the time and on creating a meaningful life away from my desk. So, instead of waiting for an editor to walk me to the altar of publication, I must do what a writer does: put publication out of my head and write.

Deborah Lee Luskin often writes about Vermont, where she has lived since 1984. She is a commentator for Vermont Public Radio, a Visiting Scholar for the Vermont Humanities Council and the author of the award winning novel, Into The Wilderness. For more information, visit her website at www.deborahleeluskin.com

24 Comments

jessicajhill on February 7, 2012 at 9:25 am

Well said! I have yet to attempt a book, but sending essays to magazines leaves me feeling quite the same way. I mark the sent dates on a spreadsheet, and list when I “should” be hearing from the editor (or receive that dreadful standardized email: “We appreciate your interest in our publication, but this just isn’t a fit for us…”) I was in need of a reminder to focus on the present rather than await the future – for both my writing and my travels – so I thank you for this post. Time to write!
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:19 pm
  
  Staying present: it’s the only way to access the imaginary world. Thanks for writing. -Deborah.
Jamie on February 7, 2012 at 10:18 am

Oh! The waiting is always the worst. I love your metaphor – captures perfectly the angst and self-doubt … AND the need for distraction. 😉
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:19 pm
  
  Thanks!
Laura on February 7, 2012 at 10:22 am

Waiting…again. Keyword: Again. Lucky you! You get to go through the process again. Past your first novel, onto the second – how exciting, despite the anticipation that elicits a myriad of emotional responses.

I am wishing you the best responses, and take heart in knowing the FIRST time I get to go through the process of waiting, all I feel will be the insanely normal writer’s response!

It’s going to happen. Eventually. Again. 😀
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:20 pm
  
  Thanks for your good wishes. All best, Deborah
technologyforsmallbusiness on February 7, 2012 at 10:33 am

Of all people, a writer must be focused. The key is, on what? You are so right to redirect writers to their craft, which is creating…tilling, planting, cultivating. Too often we focus on the harvest, while the new planting awaits…or wilts.

Thank you for this article.
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:20 pm
  
  Thanks for writing – and for the agricultural metaphor. How apt! Best, Deborah
Wendy Thomas on February 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Love this post. You’ve captured the waiting so perfectly.

Carry on, it’s the best we all can do.

Wendy
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:21 pm
  
  Thanks! DLL
unpub on February 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Like the saying goes – Good things come to those who wait.
But the waiting is never easy. Hope you hear back soon and that the news is good.
bluepencillove on February 7, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Hi! My first time here. Totally loved this post! The analogy was hilarious. And I LOL on “no good deed goes unpunished”.
Writehelper
teeceecounsel on February 7, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Write and keep your mind off publishing? Not a bad idea at all! Writers write, editors edit and publishers publish. Face yours and hold on to the law: No good deed goes unpunished! Beautiful piece! I’m hoping with you that the best publisher will come and sweep you off your feet…! Cheer up!
Felcityfox on February 7, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Good luck, at the first stages so it’s good to read this.
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:22 pm
  
  Thanks for your kind wishes, and best of luck to you. Keep writing! Deborah.
tarotwithlove on February 7, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Ah, very synchronous, “waiting”–a message I’ve been getting bunches in my cards, and my intuitive collage art. One collage I did a week or two ago that wanted to be called “Wet Paint,” the title says it all 😉 I blogged a bit about it, mentioning the “waiting” message that was coming through.

I say you’re a success already just in writing a book, some of us pitiful souls can’t seem to get through major blocks to scarcely write a word. So celebrate, girl…and congrats! 😉

I just did a collage called “Angel Face”–representing my feline love. Please read below it if you feel compelled to check it out. If you do, the message is for you 🙂

http://www.polyvore.com/angel_face/set?id=43452299
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:24 pm
  
  I love the “wet paint” concept. Yes, I’ve done the equivalent: sent out work that wasn’t polished – or even proofed! You are writing – and painting. Think positively. And thanks so much for your encouragement. Right back to you!
  Deborah.
Marylin Warner on February 7, 2012 at 7:31 pm

I’ve read many of your articles at Live to Write, Write to Live. I loved your take on working out as a writer, and your superstitions re: Friday the 13th. But this one, WOW! You hammered that tail straight through an entire line of boards.

This was excellent, and as grim as this sounds, misery loves company. I, too, have a really good agent who has collected some great editor letters raving about my writing style, the strong story, etc., et al. But in the end they passed, and some of the reasons included the tough publishing situation, and being forced not to risk on new novelists.
Sigh.
But you’re right. It is what it is, and the way to survive is focus less on that book and commit to another story or article or essay.
Thanks for this!
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 7, 2012 at 9:25 pm
  
  Thanks for all your kind words. I know that persistence pays off, so don’t give up! Deborah.
elmowritteroliver on February 8, 2012 at 12:53 am

Deborah,não desista nunca de seus sonhos,pois um dia eles se tornarão realidade.Sei bem o que é ver o nosso desejo de publicar um livro e acabar tudo em pura ilusão.Na década de 80,também tive o anseio de ver meu livro publicado,o que nunca aconteceu,até hoje.Mas continuo escrevendo e amntendo acesa a chama de um dia poder publicar,ao menos um.Uma escritora famosa,brasileira,que já tinha livro traduzido até para o alemão,de nome MARIA CLARA MACHADO,autora do livro ‘PLUFT O FANTASMINHA’,entre outros,havia lido alguns trabalhos literários meus e me prometeu fazer o prefácio de um livro meu mas veio a falecer sem fazê-lo…Aí a vida,a minha vida literária,voltava à estaca zero,já que o prefácio que ela faria em meu livro,com toda a certeza,me abririam portas.fiquei muito constrangido pela situação,principalmente por sua morte,já que se tratava de uma pessoa que já me afeiçoava por sua simplicidade,apesar de famosa e ser sempre cordial comigo,sempre que ia visitá-la.Numa dessas visitas ela me disse:VOCÊ É UM ESCRITOR NATO.GOSTO DO JEITO COMO VOCE ESCREVE… Mas, minha cara,ela tinha um compromisso inadiável,ao qual,um dia,todos nós teremos,também que comparecer e teve que me deixar ‘órfão’…Continuo escrevendo,pois a literatura para mim é o meu segundo sangue e o dia que me faltar a criação,acho que me sentiria um morto ambulante,um zumbí.Ainda não lí seu romance ‘DESERTO’ mas espero,um dia poder lê-lo.Abraços,fraternos e sucesso na vida.(Ah,me adiciona em seu facebook,já lhe enviei convite hoje)Elmo Writter Oliver-Rio de Janeiro-Brasil
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 8, 2012 at 7:55 am
  
  Thanks so much for writing – but I don’t know Spanish! Can you please translate for me? Gracias, Deborah
carolineprice on February 8, 2012 at 6:57 am

thanks! May I share something I learned in russia? the word sputnik is made up of 3 parts: 1. the ‘s’ is a prefix meaning, in this case ‘with’; the ‘put’ part means ‘path’; and the ending ‘nik’ refers to a person. Hence ‘the person who is on the path with…(you, or someone else).’

A sputnik is someone who travels along your pathway, with you.

So, if you’re on the right path for you, they’ll be there too!

Best wishes

CarolineP
- Deborah Lee Luskin on February 8, 2012 at 8:02 am
  
  Thanks for this interesting tidbit – and your good wishes, Deborah.
granbee on February 8, 2012 at 2:38 pm

As has been said so often, as as you very effectively describe here, the writer’s only job is to WRITE! I really enjoyed your parallels between finding a husband and finding your proper role as a writer! Follow your heart, and the right “fixup” will come.